Shocking! Pictures! Gasp!

I realized last night in a shocking revelation that... I didn't throw my cap. My graduating cap. When the time came and I had "officially" graduated from high school... I didn't throw the damn cap. Why? And by now I'm well into my usual freakout. I don't remember my exact reasoning for not doing it but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere along the lines of:

"I haven't written my name inside yet. I don't want to accidently pick up someone elses. That's gross"

Stupid, I know now. But I was a stupid kid [Two whole years ago]. Why couldn't I let go. Even then when everyone else was doing it, I couldn't loosen up and throw the damn thing. It was a little upsetting I gotta say.

In better news I've figured out how to transfer photos from my new camera onto my computer. You need proof? Today at lunch:

Jesse with his new glasses [freak]

Candid of myself

Jenelle & Jackie totally not ready

The layout part of it is a bit tricky but I'm a pro now ;) More proof later in this post.

Mom is a bit worried about all the clients she lost when we moved. See my mom has her own business doing esthetician-y things like pedicures/manicures, facials, waxing and that girly stuff. But since a lot of her clients live in our old neighbourhood (a whole 15 minutes away from our new one) they've stopped going to her. She's been talking about making a flyer to hand out around this new area so I'm thinking of using my CS2 Illustrator skills to make one for her. In fact I think that's what I'll do now instead of going to work out. [haha! take that Curves!]

Bored before class started.

Self-portrait In Mirror While Not Looking. Yeah it's a working title. Why?

Until next time kiddies!

X-men: The Last Stand

I saw X-men on Saturday with my brother. Definately brought out my inner geek. I laughed when everyone else missed jokes, I wanted to scream at certain boys who were stupid about certain girls. I giggled like a little girl at flashbacks showing the old bickering married couple, Charles & Eric. However I was a little disappointed. There was so much they could've done with the whole "cure" thing. The debate of whether it's right or wrong, you know? I just think X2 with the mutant = isolation/disease/gay theme could've been expanded with the question "If you could 'cure' yourself of a 'disease' that's not a disease, would you do it? Should you do it? Would that change who you are in essence?"

It's like if I could change parts of who I am, would I do it just because it isolated myself from everyone else? You can't know until the oppurtunity comes up because until then it's all just talk. Like a character in a book I read [I can't remember who or what book.] who said something like "I never understood why people like to argue about how many stars are in the sky. It's a question that can't be answered." and he eventually came to the conclusion "It's because it can't be answered. So by giving a definitive answer no one can prove you wrong." I'm not sure anymore where I was going with that.

Okay so now all I have to do is wait for Pirates 2 to come out. I'm such an uber nerd.

A Gay Old Happy Time

So it's winter session 2005, 2 weeks before finals start. I'm sitting studying with this guy I met a few weeks ago. Let's call him C. So C's really cute and smart and actually seems to enjoy talking to me and listen to my stupid jokes. And for once we're alone because it's 5pm and everyone's gone home, even T the flamboyantly gay science geek who's half in love with C and constantly hitting on him. He's studying. I'm all packed up waiting for my bus. I work up my courage. I can ask him out. Simple. I poke him. He looks up.

NL: Can I ask you something?
C: Sure... What's wrong? [he stops everything and looks up at me seriously]
NL: ... [chickens out]
C: Are you okay?
NL: Yeah... I just wanted to know... Are you gay?
C: ... No... Are you?

So I answered him "no!" shot him a scared look, told him I'd see him "later" and bolted out of there as fast as I could. And that was the last time I talked to him. Now my friends enjoy this story so much I figured I should share it with the world. And the sad thing is, he actually looked a little disappointed when I asked him the wrong question. I always wondered if he would've said yes. I see him randomly around campus at the oddest times now. Like when I'm sprawled across a bench sleeping and I open my eyes for 2 seconds to make sure, you know, the world hasn't exploded while I slept.

Moving on to better things

My family & I moved 5 months ago. Not across the world or anything exciting like that. Just 20 minutes southwest of where our old house is. It's a nice neighbourhood. Too many kids for my liking but nice. [seriously. every family has like 8 kids. drive me crazy.] It's closer to school for me, which gives me, like, an extra 30 minutes to sleep in the morning. Was it worth it to trade in 13 years in my childhood home? I'm sure I'll be much happier once I have time to redecorate. But the sad thing is... how long am I going to be here? I'm 20 years old. I've got 3 years to graduate with a professional degree. I always assumed I'd move out when I graduated and started a career. But that was before I realized medical school requires at least a 4 year degree. So do I stay after finishing my undergraduate? Or do I move out and be a struggling medical student? It sounds romantic but I don't know if I can handle that. I also don't know if I can handle living here much longer than I have to.

I suppose I have a long time to figure it out. Until I factor in my ever-present plans for The Europe Trip. It's been in the back of my mind ever since I figured out that I can travel without the parental units. Three months. In Europe. Soaking in the culture, the paintings, the food, the sights, the experience. How can I afford to do that, go to school and move out? The one thing I couldn't handle is having to move back in after realizing I can't make it on my own. Because I can. I can do it. I need to do it.

Of all the cranial nerves...

It's 3 days before my Human Anatomy final and I'm here, in front of my computer, making a blog. It's not like it's absolutely urgent that this get done right away. But you know how it is, between passing a class and avoiding the studying needed to pass the class... I'd usually pick the avoiding. I'm good at that. Avoiding things I mean. I've done it a lot in my life. Of course there will be lots of time to dig deep into my psyche. That's what this is for.

So hence the odd blog title & username. Hypoglossal. It's the 12th and last cranial nerve. It controls tongue movement. It seems a good a name as any. I mean without out tongue life would be pretty difficult. Everyone says it's the brain and the heart that are the center of it all. But the tongue is pretty damn important too. Not more important than, say, the lungs but more important than that finger that just got chopped off. Just a thought, a reminder: to remember the little guys every once in a while. It wouldn't kill you.